I haven't posted here in quite some time, but... I might... might be getting myself a record deal! That's awesome, because I've worked so hard for my music to really pay off, and I think that I'm actually going somewhere with this. But before anyone gets too excited... The record deal isn't for me alone, but I am allowed to play one piece on this upcoming collection, and that's good enough.

…The music hall I was supposed to have a recital in is demolished. And no one saw anything. It’s the same as the thing that happened with Mukahi-sempai’s house before. So… I guess my plans for the weekend have changed. >_>

I… Guess he’s avoiding me, isn’t he? Oh well… Depression time is over, it’s time to try and get my act together again! Faito~!

Buchou... Thanks! ^_^

Echizen-kun? I think I forgot to mention this but... Happy belated birthday! ^_^

For some reason my mom insists I'm playing in Church come Christmas Day. Can't say I have the heart to decline, but I'm only so-so thrilled about it. But one big part about Christmas is giving and sharing, and I can do that. A lot of people on my friends list seem distressed lately, and I guess I'm no better. If I can bring joy to at least one person this Christmas, then I'll just have to try and do my best to do it.

Don’t… Don’t know how long I can go on like this…
Shishido-san. Please. We have to talk.

Happy birthday everyone that's an October's child! How are you? I hope your birthdays were lovely~ Personally, not much is happening. School, tennis practice and music practice is going more or less good, I suppose... And if I look a bit down in school, don't worry about it. It's just the Autumn Blues. ^^;; Faito, faito!

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His Dark Materials are really some interesting and thought provoking books. I really recommend them! ^_^

I hear there's a new Slayers season out? I might just be watching that one. I remember catching up on the anime seven or so years ago, so I really don't remember much, but... It will be fun~ ♥

I feel like I have less and less time to dedicate myself to my tennis, and I don't like it. I don't know where to go, if I'd give it up. I wouldn't be able to practice with Shishido-san every day... I mean, I have my music and all, but... Is that what I really want to do? Or am I just fooling myself into believing that might be the best option open for me?

Sometimes, I wonder if I could make it as an author. I mean, just because. I've always loved telling stories to my family, and they've seemed to enjoy it.

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[ooc: Strikeouts deleted.]

Just a short note, because I can't believe how busy I am. I'm not even supposed to be online... >>;; Anyway. I wanna go drinking again! That was fun~

♠ I doubt there's hardly ever a way for someone to prepare themselves for bad news. I mean, really, really bad news. Things have been quite horrible around here lately, but I can only hope that everyone involved, Oshitari-senpai and those close to him specifically, get through it some way or another. I feel rather helpless myself, not sure what to say, or how to behave around them. I try to be just me, but what if I come off as too distant, or maybe not empathic enough, or am I being too concerned, that I'm smothering them? I don't know, it's difficult to know, as finding just that right balance can be hard, really hard. I know I haven't been good at commenting properly in their journals, and since that's only over the internet, I guess it's all well and good, but I find it difficult to speak with them in school and during practice as well. Maybe because things have been a bit strained between me and Oshitari-senpai since that failed recital... So, maybe I come off as cold. I would just like to take this moment to clarify that I'm not. I'm just as confused as everybody else.

♠ I guess life's short. That's one thing I've come to realize, so that means no time dallying around. First thing I have to do is decide what I want to do with my life. That one's simple; I want to become an author. Japan has a long history of literature, and I want to contribute to that as well. I don't want to give up my music either, but I think those two professions could be well balanced if only I put my mind to it. Second thing I should do is tell the person I'm in love with how I feel. I know the object of my affection don't return my feelings, or rather, I'm fairly sure of it, but I still want to tell that person, so I can stop beating around the bush, because it's starting to get annoying.

♠ It's a pity Sirius Black doesn't exist in real life. I approve. A lot.

Seems like I've been neglecting this journal big time. I guess it's just been a lot going on; homework, practice, competitions, in both tennis and the orchestra, so I've been overbooked. I think things are starting to slow down somewhat, and I'm glad, because now I might be able to work on my relationships with people instead. I feel like I'm slipping away from each and everybody and I can't say that I approve. My career is important, but so are my friends. Anyway, I'll try to do better! ^_^

Went karaoke-ing with Mukahi-senpai and Taki-senpai yesterday. It was quite fun, however, I guess I didn't sing all that much. It was nice to hear the others sing though, and Mukahi-senpai seemed to be in good spirits. I'm happy for him. Shishido-senpai, there's a concert in two weeks, and I've got tickets. Would you like to come?

Happy Birthday, Atobe-senpai. =)

Things are getting closer and closer to the recital... I'm nervous. I just know I'll mess up, but I can't think like that, can I? Then I'll mess up for sure. I just wish I could muster enough courage to ask Oshitari-senpai about it. I mean, what he really wants to get out of the entire thing, and how dedicated he is. Shishido-san tried to cheer me up, and I'm trying to listen to him, and not to the stupid voices in my head. Because they're... Not really being helpful. At all.

I don't know what to write here, but I hope everyone's doing all right. Is everyone enjoying their summer? I know I am.

Well, from the writer's block suggestions at the starting page:

How did you spend summers when you were a kid?

My family went up to the mountains and we used to hike through the grounds, go fishing and then end it all with going down to the nearest beach and just bathe in the sun. One time we went over to Hong Kong too, and another time we went to Paris, but I guess that's all. ^_^

I can't say I appreciate random people showing up on Hyoutei, especially not if all they do is create bad air around them.

Other than that... Training for the recital, and I really hope it will work out, because I couldn't bear letting Oshitari-senpai down.

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